WE were SO busy this week. I am exhausted. I totally get why sisters serve a year and a half. I am the crypt keeper. We are teaching incredibly prepared people right now and i cant wait to see what happens. We are getting ready for two baptisms in the next few weeks and I think a few more are on the way. We are being blessed. My favorite is Adriene- the American. SHE SPEAKS ENGLISH. I have no idea how to teach the gospel in English but its a blast saying anything and everything I want to say and understanding every word that comes out of her mouth. Its weird to think that is how my life used to be all the time. Anyways Im excited to see how everything unfolds...

We are getting our apartment remodeled. Our wallpaper dates back to the Mongolian empire and they decided that espestice is actually not that great for your health. We got to pick out the wallpaper this morning. I was going for a Versailles look but the lady really wanted this crazy technicolor candyland theme. We had a big fight and I prevailed. She told me it was grandma wall paper. Whatever. I gave them soymilk and choco pies.  

Do you remember the recent convert who has been really sick? I dreamed about him the other night. He called me on the phone and wanted me to come see him. He sounded so happy so i hurried over to his house. I walked in his front door and he was sitting in the middle of the room surrounded with all the people that matter to him- his wife, the elders who baptized him, his children and lots of little kids that were his grandchildren in my dream(even though he doesn't have any) He was laughing and telling stories. The most striking part of the dream was his appearance. He was young, handsome, full of life, and radiant. I remember sitting and watching and feeling his joy. The next morning one of the elders called to tell me that he has passed away.

We rushed over to the hospital where they were having a viewing. The room had a wall covered with flowers and a picture of him. They lay fruit and have incense burning. As you walk into the room you do a full bow- meaning forehead to the ground two times and then a half bow. Afterwards we sat with his wife and daughter and they just cried and cried. And i cried and cried. The timing of everything was really sweet. It was the day before transfers and their elders got to be there for the funeral. They were like sons to them- he even bought an English book so he could visit them in America. That night we stayed and served food to their friends and family that came. It was pretty incredible to see how grateful their family was to the missionaries. His sisters came and thanked us again and again for being there and being part of his life.

The next day was transfers and half of our district got transferred or went home. I hate change- you'd think id get used to it but i don't. Im so happy i got to stay with 서나리 she is an angel.

That night we went to part II of the funeral, this time with the ward. Only a few people showed up. Most of the room was filled with missionaries and family members. The bishop and stake president spoke about the plan of salvation but i didn't hear much because i sat across from his wife and my heart broke watching her sob. I hate funerals. I always completely lose it no matter what. I know he is in a better place and that their family will be together again but as a sat looking at her I couldn't help thinking what about between now and then? Who will take care of her? Does she have enough money? what about the loneliness? Everything gets better with time but i also know that the pain never really goes away. I felt so angry and upset feeling that life just has too much pain sometimes. I got on my knees that night and prayed. I prayed for her. for her family. I wanted to know everything was going to be ok and wondered why does it have to be so hard?

The next morning I opened my scriptures and found something in Corinthians- "for now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall i know even as I am known." I thought about life and all of its joy and all of its sorrow and I remembered, once again, we are here to obtain an education and work out our salvation. Life isn't easy because it cannot be a cheap experience. We are to model our lives after the saviors- how could we expect it to be easy for us when it was never easy for him?

So yes we must endure trials and sorrow and loss but we must always remember that He is ever with us. Right now we see through glass darkly- we cant see why but a day will come that we will stand face to face and thank him for loving us enough for letting us hurt sometimes. I know that He lives I know that he loves us. I trust Him. I know that the atonement is real and when we seek its healing power there is nothing to large or too small.

I love you.

sister lund